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Tina
17 September 2009 @ 05:10 pm
bass galactica 8  - triangles in your FACE
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
Tina
13 September 2009 @ 11:35 am
So, I believe that a tell-all post is long overdue.  Not really much to tell, but I have been quiet here for long enough. :p 

For most of my teenage years and my adult life, I have felt hatred for most people... thought they were dumb, annoying, careless, thoughtless and lame in general.  I made a disconnect and I suppose I felt myself was excluded from these opinions I had of people.  Anyway, so it feels safe there, not liking people, feeling I am better than most and so on. 

Within the last couple of years I have come to realize, whether I like it or not, I am not so different from every single person in the world.  Even the most trashy, lazy, rude people, I can identify with!   And, if so chose ,could be just like...  SCARY thought but so damn true. :\  I also identify with the me-and-mine money grubbing, ass mongers...  Even more-so, the crazy lunatic nuttjobs, kind of always have with them though.  :p 

So, I realize, I can honestly identify with every single kind of person there is out there.  I feel like we are all the same and all of 'them' are a part of me, which is honestly a weird and overwhelming feeling.   

So in realizing this I have come to understand, appreciate, embrace humans in general.  Weird, but true.  So, now, even the most shitty of gestures or expressions will be met with a disapproving smile filled with love... HAH!!! There is however, one exception.  The coolness facter gets to me more now than it ever has, and it always has gotten to me... not that I can't relate to thinking I am better than others, but it is usually just a way to mask insecurities.  I do find it extremely irritating when people see others as lower than them,  or not as cool as them.  It is so dumb to me, becasue we are ALL THE SAME AND OF THE SAME ENERGY...  fucking morons!  GET A FUCKING CLUE!!! 

Yeah, so I still need to work on the diplomacy part.  

To me, this all means... one persons trashy, lazy slobbish, self - whether you like it or not - effects US ALL!!!  So, my theory is to embrace, lead, guide all these lost and disconnected people and become connected again.  Use constuctive critical thinking with an intent to change to help eachother.  SO THERE!

Ok... enough of that hippie shit! :p 
 
 
Current Mood: crazycrazy
 
 
Tina
17 August 2009 @ 03:09 pm

Yes, I do think one of these guys, even in old age is totally haut!!!  Which one do you think I am talking about???





 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
 
 
Tina
Oh Jeebus, where to begin... It has been so long since I posted anything longer than those one liner status updates it seems a bit overwhelming to begin an actual blog. 

Oh well, here goes...

Lately, I am like a roller coaster of emotions consisting of inspiration, confidence, drive, ambition.  Then, the fall of, doubt, fear, envy and jealousy.  This is a pattern for me.  It seems as though, throughout my entire life, when I find something I am passionate about and then discover I am not as good as I think I am, and in fact there are lots of people BETTER than me I simply give up! :(  Not this time DAMMIT! 

But seriously, it is as though I feel like in my brain, I am the best! :) ..so then, why is it not presenting itself for me physically this way.  It is like I never really got the practice makes perfect thing down.  Like, in my mind I am perfect, so lets just leave it at that... haha!  ...DUMB!  I will indeed overcome my inner bullshit this time.. I cannot let myself down... I love it too much! :D
 
 
Current Mood: determineddetermined
 
 
Tina
07 May 2009 @ 09:39 pm
Lately, I am finding inspiration in the most obscure places. I guess when you have children and life is constantly demanding things from you you take it where you can get it. It is funny how when I had the time, the inspiration was not there. Kids will bring the life back into a person that is for damn sure.

On one hand I have been feeling extremely fortunate, grateful and lucky. I adore my family, love the home we have created for ourselves and the little routine I have found myself in is perfection.  However...

On the other hand, I feel like a complete mess sometimes. I create all this anxiety and stress for myself from worry it is ridiculous. I seem to find myself having one obnoxious physical ailment after another and from this I worry that maybe my negative thoughts are causing them. It sucks to be a negative person with anxiety worried that my negativity is causing my problems!

My appetite sucks and I keep loosing weight. Anytime I am stressed I can't eat. I wanted to loose some weight after James, but this is too much. At least I am toned thanks to pilates. I just need a milkshake or five!

The new job is added stress. I hardly work at all, but just dealing with new people and their weirdness's is hard for me. I am sensitive and let too much affect me... it sucks. The place is different from what I am used to. My last job was weird at first also... selling appliances and scheduling appliance repair may seem like a piece of cake compared to working for attorneys... but, dealing with a bunch of appliance dudes has it's own set of rewards... ;). This new job is waaaayyy different.   hmmmm... we shall see.

I keep thinking all these problems are hormones and they will balance out soon. This seemed to happen when Ethan was James' age, so maybe it is some hormone shift.  *shrugs*

I need to get some tips on dealing with stress!  ...for realziez!
 
 
Current Mood: crazycrazy
 
 
 
Tina
07 May 2009 @ 04:01 pm

I am being entertained by archived entries. 




Now I am done.

 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Tina
17 April 2009 @ 07:02 am
Updating eljay at 7am.... hmmm.... I think not!
 
 
Tina
02 April 2009 @ 08:45 am
blog.oregonlive.com/steveduin/2009/03/virginias_taking_of_two_kids_i.html

This makes me so fucking sad and angry!  These people act like they have children's best interests in mind but they are tearing stable families apart and destroying lives.  The injustice of it all is impossible to swallow!
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry
 
 
Tina
24 March 2009 @ 09:15 am
Today we are going to a play date with a cool mom I made friends with at Ethan's hip-hop class! 

Uh... so much to write about, but every time I find myself here, about to spill all, the baby decides to make his needs known to me.  Heh... joys of motherhood. 

Oh well, guess instead of confessing all my most recent inner thoughts/interests/endeavors, I will leave you with my getting ready routine... 

1.  Jamezie show;
2.  Ethan breakfast;
3. shower;
4.  get dressed;
5. get Ethan showered
6. do makeup hopefully without Jamezie screaming;
7.  get Jamezie breakfast while yelling at Ethan to get dressed.
8.  get Jamezie dressed
9.  yell a few more times for Ethan to get his shoes on...
10.  out the door. 

Once upon a time it was so easy to go somewhere...  now this!  Haha!  The joys of motherhood.  Did I say that already?
 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: plaid - diddymousedid
 
 
Tina
13 March 2009 @ 07:54 am
She makes me wanna die
Follow where mary goes
Cherish the things she knows
Says if I change my stride
Then Ill fly
She makes me wanna die
Change my stride
Then Ill fly
Look to the sun
See me in psychic pollution
Walking on the moon
How could you dare?
Who do you think you are?
Youre insignificant
A small piece, an ism
No more no less
You try to learn the universe
Cant even converse in uni-verse
You know its ironic smoking hydroponic
She makes me wanna die
And change my stride
Then Ill fly
She makes me wanna die
Follow where mary goes
Cherish the things she knows
Says if I change my stride
Then Ill fly
And change my stride
Then Ill fly
Look to the sun
See me in psychic pollution
Walking on the moon
How could you dare?
Who do you think you are?
Youre insignificant
A small piece, an ism
No more no less
You try to learn the universe
Cant even converse in uni-verse
You know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiwmdhNuyqo
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm